new eyes and a note

It's a Nikon P100 bridge camera, and it has better eyesight than I do. Part of me feels so excited that I feel as if I'm announcing the sex of a child. It has a fantastic zoom lens and nice macro. I owe a thank you to everyone who offered me advice, especially to Beth and Anoop. I took these yesterday:

[the moon, like a bulb]

[a pinecone]

Now, the note:

The thing about the cyber-world is that you can only seek the companionship of others through words and pictures. You can only know me through what I tell you, what you see is almost what you get, and then, you conjecture and assume, somewhere in the back or the front of your heads. I have an infinite bounty of time to choose my words carefully. It is also not very much expected of me to interact with you. None of what I just said, as I am aware of, stands true in face-to-face interactions and in the real world. When I speak to someone in a physical interface, my words do not flow like they do in mental conversations and like they do as I type. I've taken immense advantage of this fact by blogging to you, my audience. You do not know my most embarrassing moments, and will not unless I choose to share them with you. You have not seen me get angry or frustrated in a torrent of bitten nails and screams. You do not know that I had, at the age of three, the greatest fascination with pigs. I wanted to be a farmer's wife. You do not know how long my hair is and you do not know how old I am. I have not offered you very much personal information at all. 

By reading some of your own cyber-journals, I know that a few of you have indeed met face to face. In fact, I have found such a soft spot in your encouragement that I have deluded myself, partially, into thinking I have met each and every one of you. In my seeking of this anonymity, I don't intend to play mind games with you or muddle your brain until it's hell, but rather to do my best to give you an idea of who I am on the very inside, socially awkward exterior removed. What I need you to know is that what I tell you here are the things that mean the most to me, and, they are the things I consider the most personal. The things you say and the words you give me mean just as much. A little while ago, it scared me a little bit to think of encountering any one of you in person. I feared that you would not take me seriously. But, I now realize that all of you are such wonderful people that it truly would be a gift to meet you. I would only be awestruck. 

If my lack of grit-like, solid honesty has offended or put you off in any way, I owe you a profuse, profuse apology. I can only say that presenting myself as a sort of habitual liar was not my intention, and that I hope that you understand. If you have any questions at all, know that you can always contact me. My hair is by nature curly and a deep brown, and reaches the middle of my back.

I believe you should now be able to comment on Firefox. Please give it a try and let me know(via the comments page) if it works, and, if it doesn't please do shoot me an email. 

love,

Julia